'Journey through the Night' - What I did and why.

To start with I removed a large amount of dialogue as I dont think it works. What dialogue I did keep in, I tried to relate it with the visuals as all the script is being narrated by the protagonist and neither character physically talks. Examples of this are when we finally enter the train and there is a description of a 'pale blueish light' which I have shown in the corridor of the train. There is also a moment where the Cannibal looks to the side with an annoyed look as 'doesnt a fellow undestand a joke' is said.
I began with the same shot as was originally used as I believe it sets up the feel to the film quite well. After this I played around with the sounds of the trains so that when there was a distant shot, the train was quieter and when there is a close-up of the wheels the train noise increases just to make sense of the shots. I also decrease the levels on the dialogue when a character is having a personal thought, such as when there's a cut to a close-up of the protagonist and he thinks 'I wont sleep tonight'.
Finally and probably most important, I tried to build tension between the characters as this is what the piece is about. I hold of for a few shots before showing whats inside the briefcase to cause the viewer to stay interested. I do this again when the Cannibal is saying that the protagonist should not sleep by gradually moving closer and closer into their faces as the tensions build, finishing with the Cannibals teeth.